a new look at the long-standing play “act” of an exit converstation at work
Debunking the myth of the exit Interview
The prevalent notion of an exit interview, fascinated me for several years.
It always left me with a deep feeling of discontent, a feeling of being taken advantage of in a kind of dirty psychological way.
This feeling continually resurfaced whenever I encountered an employee leaving a company I worked for. They’d either express their dissatisfaction or smiling sheepishly with an air of “telling all” in such interviews.
In one funny occurance, a person who worked for over 30 years for a company left, and had a Fidel Casto-lenght of speech ready, about all the long-forgotten nuicances he encoutered and the many people he wanted to “get back at” (some of these people were even already gone from the company for years at that moment).
What a waste.
My perspective on exit interviews contrasts with the generally positive stance the idea often holds.
Most people -to my surprise- think an exit interview is a great way to have a learning experience, and a reflective moment for the company to learn from their employee and move forward. (this is too cliché for words to me)
Exit interviews are predominantly based on the assumption that every employee is a pliable sponge who willingly contributes information for the sole purpose of bettering the organization — a belief that often defies normal market principles and human nature.
A seconf assumption assuming most companies make, is that they’re able to learn and act upon the information given by the employees.
They’re usually not capable to assemble and process this information anyway… they’re not capable of giving an adequate interpretation to what’s being said. They usually hear what they want to hear.
“He left because he had not the adequate support within the organisation”.
While in fact the employee said something that sounded similar, like “The tools we use here, are not up to date and don’t give us the speed and efficency to stay ahead of the competition, and my boss is never around, alway in a meeting”.
The interpreation can be anything for a company, depending on the plans they already had. (If they even take notes at all).
Let us first discuss why an employee might participate in an exit interview when leaving a company — in theory.
This question is frequently answered in popular literature with a litany of hollow phrases from past eras:
Helping the company improve itself.
Providing a respectable goodbye.
Teaching others.
Assessing the company’s market position for certain profiles.
These justifications lost their appeal over the past decades.
An exit-interview became common during the 1970s.
A time where companies needed the insight of employees, and even adhered to the things they learned. There was a minimal respect for the human being on the other side of the tabel, be it only to improve profitability in the long run.
This is all gone in the 2020s; in a market divided over a few big players, where everything is data-management in the end anyway. No one cares in the long run, because there is no “long-term” view anymore in most companies, and if there is, it’s usually to become more cookie-cutter data-management and statistics anyway.
One employee sharing their heart-felt real insights, is irrelevant nowadays. Yet everone keeps acting like it isn’t.
The human being on the other side of the table, is no more than a number, an actor, statistic, someone who’s replacible because companies (certainly bigger ones) became a corporate entity where no one person can make a difference and the systems (Agile, Lean SaFe, … ) became the de facto dictators of the market place.
These reasons stem from the notion that every employee is a spineless sponge, volunteering to impart valuable insights to the company they leave, aiming to improve the world. Furthermore, employees are often portrayed as naïve, assuming that offering businesses information is a worthwhile endeavor. It is no secret that Human Resources departments, known for their benevolence and efficiency, typically handle these scenarios.
A third assumption is also wrong: a company usually doesn’t recognize the employee having the guts and the spine to really tell what’s the real reasoning for leaving the company.
Most people are too nice or too polite to tell their employer the real reason they’re leaving. Instead, they’ll stick to the same old excuses, like “I want to move my career in a different direction” or “The compensation at another company was better.”
The truth is, many people leave their jobs because of toxic management, harassment, or a lack of opportunity. But they’re afraid to say anything because they don’t want to burn bridges or make things worse.
It’s time for employees to stop being so polite. If you’re leaving your job because of a valid reason, don’t be afraid to speak up and ask for money to do so!
Tell your employer what’s really going on, and get something out of it for yourself, instead of being a walking doormat.
If you don’t do this, all that’s missing in such exit interviews is people wearing funny theater outfits and an audience with some pop-corn.
It’s all a sharade, and the employee is the main act, who comes in for free.
Matters grow more complicated when an employee is leaving due to conflicts or differing opinions. In these cases, seeking an exit interview can border on the absurd, as I experienced twice, leading to circuses of grimaces, painful realizations, and individuals who desperately wished they were somewhere else.
Even when an employee takes the initiative to leave and pursue a new career path, it is nonsensical for them to participate in an exit interview. By doing so, they are not only damaging their own self-image, but also expressing their loyalty and service to the company in a subservient and gratis manner when it no longer holds any value.
They’ll act like they want to learn from an employee leaving, and the employee acts like they care. Everyone loses.
So … let’s turn that around and create two winners instead of two losers.
The company can win with a decent feedback, and the employee can win by sharing this feedback while getting compensation.
Let’s put this to the test and put a price on that exit-interview. To look if it’s really just an elaborate community theater play, or something they’re willing to pay for.
When employees pack up and go
Exit interviews usually signify the employee’s departure from the company, which often signifies the company’s lack of success in engaging, retaining, and adapting to changing workforce needs.
Instead of participating in an exit interview, employees should focus on maintaining their integrity, advocating for themselves, and voicing their opinions while still in the company.
When the time comes to go, it is best to leave a strong, valuable impression rather than a fleeting, degrading one derived from complains and concessions.
Focus on the present
Instead of relying on the outdated, passive practice of exit interviews, employees should prioritize constructive input, self-awareness, and personal growth at all times. When employees engage in a blame game or exit interviews, they inadvertently contribute to the stagnation and siloed mentality that is detrimental to overall organizational success. They’re not doing themselves any favor anyway, as they’ll feel kind of “robbed” when leaving the company.
The physical and mental impact of actually walking out that last time, makes you realize you just had been playing along for the sake of it during such exits.
The alternative of an exit-interview could be a “consultancy session,” where the departing employee is compensated for their insights and expertise.
I suggest a one-time payment between 50% of a month salary and up to 3 times a month’s salary. That’s what it’s actually worth to get well founded insights in the how and why of an employee leaving.
Most of us, do it for the 15 minutes of being taken serious for once, and the dopamine levels that come with it.
When approached as a business interaction, the company stands to benefit from the employee’s unique perspectives and knowledge. However, when companies are unwilling or unable to pay for this valuable counsel, employees must simply move on and endeavor to learn from their experiences rather than dwelling on their frustrations or casting blame. On top of that, helping out a company that fired you, or didn’t meet expectations, is not helping, but nurishing an open wound.
Conclusion
Exit interviews can be thought of as a relic of a bygone era in which employees were expected to work indefinitely for a company and remain silent about their opinions or concerns.
Today’s workforce seeks flexibility, growth, and open communication. As employees become more autonomous and independent, their focus on self-advancement and individualism often makes the concept of an exit interview outdated and just “going through the motions”.
By advocating for themselves, sharing their thoughts and ideas, and holding their employers accountable for fostering an open, inclusive, and growth-oriented work environment, they really help the company forward, and this must have a price! You can help the company along with your insights, while earning a compansation or bonus for the effort.
When a company asks you to participate in an exit interview, don’t let them undervalue your insights and experience.
If you do participate (and get compensted for it) , then prepare thoroughly for the interview and then, with confidence, inform themand share your valuable knowledge. Request a payment equivalent to half your monthly salary. After all, your time and expertise are worth it.
While some employees may feel obliged to participate in exit interviews out of loyalty or a sense of duty, it’s important to remember that companies often exploit this goodwill to extract insights without providing adequate compensation, while playing the community theater act of “caring about your carreer”. They don’t. They won’t even rememeber your name after 2 weeks.
Don’t be a doormat to corporate ignorance and run-of-the-mill stupidity. Your insights are not free.
Demand fair compensation for your time and expertise.
Employees; you’re not a squeeze-sponge for company profit and data-management like HR departments.
You are a valuable professional with valuable knowledge.
Ask for payment for your insights or walk away as cold and hard as their data models are.
